I found this on another bike related site. You may have heard something like this before. It was originally wrote out with race cars in mind. I went through and revised it a bit. Kirk helped me out, too.
- You take your helmet along when you go to buy new eyeglasses or check out bikes.
- You feel compelled on a road trip to beat your previous best time.
- You are happiest when your street bikes tires have enormous tire boogers.
- When something falls off of your bike, you wonder how much weight you just saved.
- When you hear 'overcooked it', instead of food you think 'off the track'.
- You change engine oil every other week.
- You sometimes hear little noises from your passenger when you get on the throttle right after turning in.
- You thoroughly enjoy showing the tailgater behind how to drive around a highway off-ramp.
- Your racing budget is one of the big three -- mortgage, motorcycle payments/repair, food
-Your email address refers to your race bike rather than to you.
- You walk proper lines through the grocery store.
- You've paid $4.00 a gallon for gas without complaining.
- You buy new parts because you don't know where you put the spares.
- You bought a race bike before buying a house.
- You bought a race bike before buying furniture for the new house.
- You're looking for a tow vehicle and still haven't bought furniture!
- You find that you need a new house because you've outgrown your garage and the neighbors are threatening violence if you park one more vehicle on the street or in the front yard.
- The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of importance):
1) 8 car climate controlled garage with an attached shop.
2) Outside parking for a motor home, a crew cab dualie, a 28'enclosed trailer and a 34' 5th wheel.
3) 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage for your welder.
4) A bike lift.
5) Convenient to a hazardous waste disposal site.
6) Deaf neighbors.
7) Across the street from a paint and body shop.
8) Some sort of house with a working toilet and shower on the property somewhere -or- hookups for the motor home.
- You measure all family acquisitions in terms of the number of sets of race tires that could have been purchased.
- You know well that Orthodontic work is the equivalent of three sets of tires
- You sit on your race bike in a dark garage and make motorcycle noises, while waiting for your motor to get back from the machine shop.
- You look at the purchase of tools as a long term investment.
- You wrap your Christmas presents, using safety wire.
- Your wife says, "If you buy another set of tires, I'm getting a new mink."
- Your garage holds more bikes than your house has bedrooms.
- You have enough spare parts to build another sport bike.
- More than one racer supply house recognizes your voice and greets you by name when you call.
- You have motorcycle parts in your cubicle at work.
- You think the last line of the Star Spangled Banner is: "Riders, start your engines!"
- If you can't remember when you last worked on weekdays and rested on weekends.
- You're registered for wedding gifts at the Motorhead and Street n Competition.
- Your Christmas list begins with another set of Rennsports and Double-H kit race brake pads and your 'significant other' knows what they are.
- After your answer to "What did you do this weekend?" the next question is always: "And you do this for fun? Right?"
- You have a separate closet for your leathers.
- Your reading material in your bathroom consists of motorcycle parts and racing supply catalogs, several books written by famous riders, and 400 sport bike magazines, none of which have centerfolds.
- People know you by your bike number, bike color, or the sound of your can.
- People know you by your "offs". "Oh, you are the one who went down on turn 3.”
- Your first date involves asking her to be your umbrella girl.
- Your criteria for selecting a significant other includes experience operating a race
stand and tire warmers.
- Your friends don't recognize you without your leathers and helmet.
- Your nicest suit is made by Spyke.
- Your hairstylists name is Arai.
- You plan your wedding around the race schedule.
- You remember the dates and details of every race you've ever been in, but can't remember your phone number.
- Your family brings the couch into the garage so they can spend some time with you.
- You complain when cars in front of you on highway off-ramps don't stay on the line, causing your exit speed to drop.
- You refer to the corner down the street from your house as "Turn One."
- You look at the fire hydrant at that corner and see an apex marker.
- You always late apex the intersection and try to pass a few cars coming out.
- Everywhere you go, you try to find the fastest line through the turn.
- You can't stand anyone telling others how to ride. Of course, you are the best.
- You always want to change something in your street bike to make it handle better.
- You will gladly pay up to $8 for a quart of engine oil.
- You hate long distance driving, but you will gladly ride 800 miles to the race track.
- You save broken bike parts as " mementos".
- Your last several freeway forays included just getting your knee down as you apex the on-ramps perfectly....
- The local motorcycle shop won't honor the warranty on any sport bike you have been within 50 yards of...
- The local police and state Highway Patrol have a picture of your bike taped to their dashboard.
- You spend more time polishing your bike every day than you do bathing.
- White smoke coming out from under your rear tire is a common sight.
- You consider the redline a "conservative suggestion" and the rev limiter "a fun limiter"
- You spend more on insurance premiums than on food.
- Your idea of a good time is sitting around figuring out gear ratios and remapping
your fuel injection.
- You have racing shops programmed on your speed dialer.
- You own five bikes and only one of them is street legal. Sort of.
- You know the 1/4 mile times and skid pad numbers of your riding mower and want to improve them.
- You've embarrassed your significant other at least once by insisting on wearing full
leathers to their parent’s house.
- You know the "racing line" of every turn in your daily commute, including your alternate routes, and practice hitting them every day.
- You quote your street tire wear life in weeks rather than miles.
- You regularly live test your rev limiter on that straight that's a little too long for 2nd but not worth going into 3rd for.
- You've started looking for sponsors for your daily commute.
- You've slalomed in a construction zone, and counted your penalty time in the rearview afterwards.
- After you tell your fiancée where you'd like to go on your honeymoon she answers: "Why... is there a race there?"
